Why you don’t want to move away from pain?

Don’t move away from pain?

Many people decide to make a change. Change is good.

The problem I have seen is that they people move away from want they don’t want –pain, not towards what they do want. This approach causes problems with long-term motivation.

For example, if I try on my clothes and notice they are a bit snug, I might decide to drop a few pounds. The desired outcome is for the cloths to fit better.  As a result, I decide to move away from wearing uncomfortable clothes.

As I lose weight and the clothes start feeling comfortable again, the tendency for me is to stray away from what works and start eating the junk that made me fat to start with. This happens because as I move away from pain (tight-fitting clothes,) the motivation is not as strong (because there is not as much pain because the clothes are starting to fit better.)  As I move away from pain of tight-fitting clothes, I think it is ok to stray and again eat food that are not good for me.

If we take that same example and move toward our goals of achieving and maintaining our ideal weight (say 200 lbs.,) as our clothes start fitting better, we are motivated to maintain the changes that helped move us in the right direction, making it easy to stay on the diet and resist temptation to start eating junk. Since we are not moving from pain (though the pain is what started the change), we are moving toward a specific outcome (weighting 200 lbs.) we can continue along the path that is working without worrying about slipping back into the old behavior the caused us to gain weight.

How does this concept apply to sales and business?  

Let’s discuss cold calling as an example. If we focus on the possibility of rejection, it will be difficult to make the call. Let’s shift our focus on why we need to make the call. One of my clients would rather lay off an employee that pick up the phone and solicit new business. Once he got clear on “why” he was picking up the phone (to provide a great living for his family,) He was able to solicit enough business to generate more proposals in 30 days they he did in the prior five years. We needed him to focus on what he wanted, not on what he did not want.

Try it. Pick something that is hard for you and focus on the positive you will experience when you perform the action. Stay focused on the positive. Watch how motivated you become. Watch how much easier it is to stay focused.

I invite you to try out our www.businessgrowthexperience.net/ron  membership site. Our goal with this site is provide actionable contents to help you grow sales, increase revenues and retain happy customers. You get a two-week trial for only $1. If you chose not to continue the free gift is yours as a thank you for trying us out. Why reinvent the wheel. For only $1 you can learn and implement best practices that work. Go to www.businessgrowthexpeience.net/ron to learn more.

Ron Finklestein
www.businessgrowthexperience.com
ron@businessgrowthexpeirence.com
330-990-0788

Food Almost Killed Me and my Business

This is a true story and I struggled with sharing it. It is confession time. For years I was sick: migraines, fatigue, joint pain, gas, bloating and the list goes one. I knew I would die (I am totally serious here) if I did not get this under control.  Running my business (and my life) was a desperate act of pure will power. For over two years everything hurt. I did not have the energy to try to grow my business. It took all my energy to get out of bed in the morning; it was all I could do was maintain some semblance of a normal life. I just could not understand what was going on.

This is not an exaggeration.

Let me give you the short version of the story. I tell you this not for sympathy but to help you understand the value of good health in growing a healthy business, enjoying life and making the most of every situation.

I took three naps a day.

I eliminated all activities except the bare necessaries of meeting only with customers.

I woke in the morning with so much pain I dreaded getting out of bed.

I had two spiritual visions in six month that I was dead and my wife was in mourning.

I was forty pounds overweight.

I experience four migraines a week.

The muscle and joint pain was so bad I did not want to move.  

I was not absorbing the medicine I was on and needed larger and larger doses. Nothing helped!

Emotionally, I was tired, depressed, frustrated and angry about the situation.

Fortunately, I found a doctor who helped me understand I was allergic to gluten in wheat. As I got better and tested other foods, I found I also had a negative reaction to soy, corn, dairy, eggs, and rice products. In the last 12 months my diet has changed to mostly meat and vegetables.

Because of the way I eat and how careful I am about what I eat and potential of cross contamination, I have been laughed at, ridiculed, and made fun of. Most waiters and waitresses are not familiar with people who deal with this problem and they think I am being ridicule. As a result, I tend to avoid most social occasion where food is the reason for people to get together: chamber lunches, business lunches, breakfast lunches, etc. I am tired of explaining. I am tired of being the only one at the table of eight paying for food but not eating and having people wonder why.

As a result of this dietary change, my life has changed for the best. I am happy again. I have energy. All my physical problems are gone. My relationship with my wife is great and I now can smile again. My hair is gradually changing color (from gray to brown) and I dropped 40 pounds.  I actually started exercising again after 15 years.  

I enjoy meeting people again. I am actively prospecting for new client and I am enjoying my work as a sales coach and trainer again.

I did not write this post to complain but to ask you to think about the food you eat. Is it helping you? Is it sapping your energy? Does it give you gas? Is it making you miserable? What impact is the food you are eating having on your energy and relationships? It is hard to have a good life and a strong business when you don’t feel well. For the first time in my life I finally understand the value of a proper diet and power of eating the right food.  

Because it can take from a few minutes to a few days to understand if food you eat is giving you problems, it is hard to make the connection. Keep a food diary is a great place to start.

I always sign of my blog post with, “to your success.” Today, I will sign off with to your health.

Ron Finklestein

www.businessgrowthexperience.com

ron @ businessgrowthexperience.com       

“Observe everything as you walk your path (in life).”

Akita Mani Yo.

Robert Schepens, is part Native American and he often reminds me of the Native American saying “Akita Mani Yo.” This saying means “Observe everything as you walk your path (in life).”

Observing everything as we walk our path is hard to do. It requires both internal and external awareness.

Internal is defined a our reactions, feeling and emotions and external our environment, others and our ecology (relationships.) It requires seeing things we often pay no attention to.

It requires us to understand our life and the meaning of our life as defined by the contrast between ourselves and others. This contrast is what is observed. In this contrast lie the secrets we miss, the lost loves, the beautiful flowers that we ignore, the pain we inadvertently inflicted and the joy others experience. This observing shows us the pains of others that we missed, the opportunities lost, that opportunities missed, the opportunities we gained. It shows the joys that passed us by.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) this is referred to as “Our perception is our reflection.” Stated another way, what we see and perceive is what we notice and what we reflected back to others.

If things are not what you want, shift your attention to notice the things you do want. What more customers? Shift your attention to being grateful for your existing customers. Want more love in your life, be a more loving person. Want more friends, be a better friend. Remember to Akita Mani Yo.

Ron Finklestein
Someone who is learning to be a better student.

ron@akris.net

330-990-0788

 

 

 

 

Why Relationship Skills Matter

Why Relationship Skills Matter.

We all belong to the human race. It is a simple sentence and a statement of fact. There are many assumptions made in that statement. One of the primary assumptions is we belong to the human race. Because of our membership in this august society, we know how to build safe, effective, successful and lasting personal and business relationships that allow all parties involved to grow, prosper and get results.

I am not sure this is a valid assumption.

Why? Though we have much in common, many of us have not been taught know how to build rapport, connect with others, understand the best way to support others and know how to ask them to support us. This is evident by the divorce rate; as many as 50% of marriages end in a divorce (Source divorcerate.org.) What is interesting to me is that the divorce rate drops the older we get. For example the divorce rate is 38.8% for American males age 20-24 versus 6.5% for American males age 35-39. It would seem the old men get the more they understand relationship strategies.

The question is how can we shorten that learning curve?

In business, according to Grant Thornton, 97% of all business owners want to strengthen the customer relationship.

SCORE suggests that 64% of all small businesses fail because they do not know how nor do they understand the value of marketing. Marketing is nothing more than a process through which companies build strong customer relationships. Can you imagine how simple life can become when you understand this and implement relationship strategies in your business?

I could go on but you get my drift.

To address this problem, I teamed up with Dr. Tony Alessandra, one of the world’s foremost relationships strategies experts, to create a web site that teaches you how to build safe, effective, successful and lasting personal and business relationships. The web site is called People Smarts. In this site we address relationship strategy issues, presentations skills, collaborative selling skills, marketing, personal growth and development, how to treat people the way they want to be treated and a host of other important and powerful topics that, when applied, will help you create more effective relationships to get the results you want and need. The site contains a full array of videos, eBooks, PDFs and MP3 to support you in your personal, sales, business and leadership development needs.

We invite you to explore and try out this site. In lesson one (which you have access) you will learn the different between the Golden Rule vs. Platinum Rule and experience the overview of all functions of relationship strategies. In addition, you will receive an introduction of the two dimensions of behavior. In this lesson, you will be presented with a very simple model that has been validated with hundreds of thousands of people.  It is a powerful guide you can use to improve communication and morale, build better work groups, and develop better relationships with co-workers, supervisors, customers, vendors and others.

I invite you to give People Smarts a try. To learn more go to www.akris.net. If you have questions please feel free to call Ron Finklestein at 330-990-0788 or email him at ron@akris.net. This powerful tool can also be used in you place of business for all your employees. If you would like more details about this opportunity ask Ron and he will provide the details.

Ron Finklestein

www.peoplesmarts.ws
admin@peoplesmarts.ws

330-990-0788

What is the Difference between Personal Development vs. Internal Development?

Personal Development vs. Internal Development.

What is the difference between personal development and internal development?

Personal development is intended for use by one person. Personal development is usually skills based, the learning of new skills for example.

Internal Development exists in the interior of something. Internal Development is creating change from the inside out and focuses on changing beliefs and behaviors.

In my mastermind group, the people who have been in this group for 10 years have one thing in common: the desire for internal growth. The people who do not stay with the group leave quickly if they do not share this value.

Internal development (growth) is more difficult and longer lasting, if you can be open to new things, new ways of thinking and implement what you learned.

In personal development, after a new skill is learned the purpose of participating ceases to exist.

Which is more important to you?

Ron Finklestein

ron@ronfinklestein.com
330-990-0788

www.ronfinklestein.com

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Blue Print for Achievement

I received this in an email from Jason Orman. It was the boost I needed today and I wanted to share with others who may need some moral support and encouragement.

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Blueprint for Achievement
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===> BELIEVE while others are doubting
===> PLAN while others are playing
===> STUDY while others are sleeping
===> DECIDE while others are delaying
===> PREPARE while others are daydreaming
===> BEGIN while others are procrastinating
===> WORK while others are wishing
===> LISTEN while others are talking
===> SMILE while others are frowning
===> PRESIST while others are quitting

– William Arthur Ward

Thanks Jason
Ron Finklestein
Consultative Business Coach

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