Please Don’t Ring The Bell!

Have you ever felt lost, stuck, confused and closed off?

As a small business coach, I work with many small business owners who are stuck, depressed, closed off and fearful.

When I found myself in that space a few weeks ago, I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t even sleep. Four AM was my regular wake up time and I felt blessed to sleep that long.

I knew I had to call my coaches (advisors).

You see I practice what I preach. I felt weak asking them to help.

I did not want to see them. I did not want to talk to them. I did not want to share with them how it felt to feel like a failure.

But I swallowed my pride and I meet with my advisors. I put my ego in park and went to the meeting. By the way they are what I consider to be my board of advisors.

Was it scary? Yes.

Was it hard? Yes.

Was it difficult? Yes

I could go on but you get the picture.

After a difficult few hours I received this advice from one of my advisors. “You are a coach, coach yourself. Step back, remove the ego, define the problem, and fix it!” Those were hard word to hear.
I went home and felt sorry for myself (for about an hour) and started to do as advised.

I realized my problems were the same problems I help others with daily: focus, discipline, and execution. As I started to define the problem I realized I got away from the basics everyone, without exception, needs to follow.

I knew I needed to create a process I could follow to keep me focused. I spent the next few days creating, testing, implementing, and testing again. I solved this problem by creating what I call the “Promise Setting Process.”

I am so excited by the results, focus, discipline and execution that I am going to roll this out as a product in the near future.

But talking about the product is not the reason for this blog post.

The true reason for this post is the email I received from one of my advisors after our meeting. It touched me deeply, changed my perspective and gave me hope. I want to share it with you because everyone needs someone like this in their corner: someone to ask the hard questions, someone to care about them, someone who believes in their dreams, and someone to hold them to a higher standard. Here is his email.

“Thanks for sharing this morning, old friend. How much of your current questioning of your career direction is related to the feeling of helplessness from your recent encounter? When we feel “out of control” or in the dark without a flashlight, we all attempt to question our worth or direction. Those challenges in life, are more often than not, met with an insecurity as large or larger than the monster in front of us. If we didn’t feel that way, we would not be “human”. Our reaction needs to be part attentive to the issue and part “I am better than this”. Where are you? All of us at the table have stories of coming out of a personal image crisis, and you don’t need to hear those now. How you gird your loins and deal with it all with logic and fortitude will determine who you are in the coming weeks and months. May I suggest both logic (a plan) and an ego. You are a great man, with great ideas. Use them on yourself. “The only easy day was yesterday”, now what are you going to do today? Ring the bell, or put on the 90 pound pack and run the 29 miles in the top 10? I’m betting you can be right there at the finish line.”

For those of you who don’t know, when someone quits (or washes out) in the process of becoming a Navy Seal, he must ring the bell letting everyone know of his choice. Otherwise he is expected to pick up his pack and start running to the finished line.

This email prompted me to fix my own problem and I realized I am not alone with this problem. Half the world feels the same way. If I fixed it for me, then half the world needs to hear about this so they can put themselves back into control. More on this later.

Today, find someone you can call and share your fears, frustrations, pains and choices with. Don’t judge yourself, their responses or the situation you are in. When you do that you start the process of feeling free. Everyone of us needs to feel heard. We need to know someone cares.

Then make a decision, no, a promise, to make something happen. No excuses. Track your progress, measure your results. If you are not getting the results you want, repeat the process. But find someone who can help. DO NOT RING THE BELL.

Thank you to my advisors who listened, shared, and would not let me fail; who held me to a higher standard than I could hold myself. The true meaning of friendship was reinforced and redefined for me as a result of this meeting.

Gratefully,
Ron Finklestein
330-990-0788
ron@ businessgrowthexperience.com

Ps. If you don’t want to ring the bell and want to understand how to “ANSWER the Six Questions Your Prospects Want Answered Before They Buy From You,” the check out About Business Success and watch the short video.

 

Using Your Advisory Board to Prevent Failure

I run several Business Mastery Advisory Boards (learn more at www.rpfgroupinc.com) that are designed to drive the nine behaviors all successful people implement. These behaviors are documented in the book Nine Principles for Inspired Action: A New & Targeted Perspective (available on amazon.com).

Many business owner do not know what needs done but not how to do it. When asked why they did not address the problem, the reason I hear most is: “I do not know how.”

I find this to be a lazy reason from not doing something. When I ask them to commit they say I will try. LISTEN UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! There is no trying. There is only doing. In this economy we need action that leads to purposeful results, not action that leads to trying.

That is why an advisory board is so important. You have your peers to help you. You share best practices that save you time, energy and money. You receive objective feedback from people who care for you and your success. There are no hidden objectives.

I have one member in my advisory board (learn more at www.rpfgroupinc.com) that talks about quality of her product and the value her company provides. This is strange because she cannot define either in a way that allows the customer to understand or in a way that reflects the value of her product or services. If you cannot define it you cannot do it or achieve it – it is that simple.

She does not have to know how to do it, all she as to do is start doing something. Building the kinds of processes I am talking about requires documenting what you do now. If you do not know what you are doing, make something up and start doing it.

There is hundreds of training programs out there whose purpose is to help you acquire the skills you need. I use iLearningGlobal to help me when I am stuck and I use this tool to help my clients when they are stuck. To learn more go to http://www.ilearningglobalnow.net

Watch a few videos. Take some notes. Each video is only 6-9 minutes in length. That is one half of one percent of your day so do not tell me you do not have time. Listen to billionaire Bill Bartmann discuss how he used goal setting to go from bankruptcy to $500M in assets in five years. 

Begin learning from your mistakes and learn from the mistakes of others. Learning is essential to success; especially if what you are doing you have never done before. Success is nothing more the learning to fail forward. Let’s others help you to fail forward.

Ron Finklestein
www.akris.net
ron@akris.net 
330-990-0788